I want you to know
by HikariShionOST
Summary: She tells her how she loves her best friend.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first time making a fan fiction. Enjoy**

 _"_ _Hey, guys I need to talk about something serious" I sat more straight, looking from Yui to Azusa to Mugi._

 _"_ _Ritsu, you sure about this" Mio looked at me with concern in her eyes._

 _"_ _Yea, it's about time right?" I grinned at her and swallowed hard. I was a bit taken aback to how my friends reacted; it was as if they could feel how dire this situation is to me._

 _"_ _Ritsu-chan, you don't have to say it if you don't want, we understand" Mugi clasped her hands and smiled at me._

 _"_ _No, I'm really okay about it." I looked at Mugi and gave her a wicked smile; all the way I felt my heart racing and my sweat developing in my temple._

 _Here we go.. I inhaled deeply.. Let it out Ritsu.. You can do it_

 _"_ _Guys, I'm gay?" I said awkwardly. They were still; both Nakano and Yui went still, while Mugi just nodded silently as if she already knew. Did she?._

 _I heard Mio sighed beside me and eyed me maybe to check whether I'm okay or not and returned her attention to the other club members._

 _"_ _For how long did you know, Ritsu-senpai?" Azusa asked me a few seconds later_

 _"_ _Might be when I first started attending Sakuragou might be earlier, I'm not entirely sure myself?" I answered sheepishly. Azusa looked as if she's still trying to process this new information._

 _I slouched back on my chair, wiped my temples and sighed. Just the thought that one of them might freak out at me would really hit me hard. I told Mio faster then the rest and she was okay with it. Mugi looks fine. Yui and Azusa, those two I'm the more worried about._

 _"_ _Hey captain, then if you like girls. Does that mean you like Mio?" Yui asked me naively._

 _I couldn't answer that directly, feeling cold sweat developing in my back. I never thought about it, and I haven't felt the slightest interest towards Mio; yes she was attractive but I've always regarded Mio as family. As I was about to answer Yui, Mio took my chance away in a split second._

 _"_ _Well, I hope she doesn't? my parents won't take it likely..." and she elaborated more but I forgot most of what she said._

-end of flashback-

5 years later

And here I am now in a café with my best friend, drinking tea and reminiscing about the past. She was in deep thought of the book in front of her, filling out our bucket list.

I shifted my seating and eyed Mio. She had died her hair dark red brown after her 2nd year in Tokyo university. It was mostly a reminder, a symbol, just like what a tattoo does, that she had left her more youthful persona behind. I was okay, even refreshed by her change, it made me want to change as well as a person. A motivation to better myself, I say.

"Hey Mio, don't just ignore me" I threw a tissue ball in her direction. It bounced to her face.

"Urgh, Ritsu. Let me focus here" She glared at me. Her face was as beautiful as ever. Hair pulled back into a ponytail. She wore a blue flannel shirt and short white pants.

"Boohoo, I'm bored just pick anything from the bucket list" I sipped on my drink and took a bite from my chocolate fudge cake.

"Fine.. how about we go mountain tracking?"

"Nooo, we did that last summer as well. I want to go to the beach!" I flailed my arms to the air in admonishment.

"The beach? Hrm. You want to contact the others than? We could go to Mugi's summer house if she's okay about it"

"Fine by me. As long as you are there I'm okay." I said jokingly, phrasing the last of the sentences slowly.

"Aww, you are so sweet Ritsu." She flirted friendly with me and my heart beat a bit faster than normal.

Summer holiday

"Mugi thanks a lot for letting us stay in your summer house" Mio said. She wore a tank top with a summer straw hat. Her hair today was let loose. Mugi just smiled to her and gave me a wink.

After a fun day on the beach the K-on club returned back to Mugi's summerhouse. Mio and I were sitting on the outdoor bench looking at the sea and the starry night sky. It was beautiful. The atmosphere is really suited for light and even deep talks, things that I usually enjoy often with Mio.

There was again an annoying nudge in my feelings. I shoved it way back and drank my 3rd bottle of Sapporo beer. I handed one bottle to Mio as well.

"It really is a miracle isn't it Ritsu?" Mio suddenly said out of nowhere.

"What?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Us, it's like fate. We've been with each other for how long?" she looked at me and sipped her bottle of beer.

"14 years" I smiled to no one as if realizing what she meant.

"14 years." She reaffirms herself.

"Yeah" I looked at her and saw her outline from the moon's light. It was breathtakingly defining.

 _Mio... I need to say it to her. Now or never._

"Mio" I readied myself

"Hrm?" she asked not taking her eyes off the sky.

"I love you" I said, face heated. She looked at me and paused.

"I love you too" she replied and went back to looking at the sky.

I swallowed and picked my words carefully.

"Not like that." She stops what she was doing and looked at me again.

"What do you mean?" she questioned curiously.

"I'm.." I held out my hand to her and she waited patiently. I inhaled deeply and found my resolution. Be confident and never regret.

"I'm in love with you" I said in one breath and her eyes slowly widened in realization. . My hands felt numb. My continuous heartbeats rang in my ears. I know and I know what her answer will be but I can't help myself. I closed my eyes and gripped my cargo pants tightly.

There was a long pause where I can only hear the waves moving towards the beach.

"Ritsu, you know I can't. We can't" she faced me. Eyebrows knitted in concern.

And there we go, you brought it to yourself Ritsu. I cursed within my breath. My emotion was numb, I don't know why; maybe cause of sheer panic and despair? Again a long pause and I found my voice falter.

"I understand. I don't know where that came from. Just forget it okay? I'm sorry" I apologize quickly and gave her a wide grin. I know that she knows it was fake.

The air went still. It was awkward and I don't know what to do. I stood up immediately afterwards

" I'm going to go buy some drinks and snacks on the convenient store. Text me what you and the others want." I shielded my face from her and walk briskly to the main entrance.

"I can go with you if you want." I heard her caught up to me

"No, I need to be alone for a sec" I said as I gripped the door entrance.

"Okay." Her tone of voice was weak. I don't know whether she's worried or sad; maybe she just pitied me.

"See you later"

I opened the door and dashed of to my car. I head to the convenience store. My feelings began pouring out and I cried throughout the way to the convenient store. I stopped my car at the convenient store parking lot and clasped my hands to my eyes. Keeping both hands firmly to my face.

"Fuck! It was stupid of me to even try anyways" my voice cracked as I shouted frustratingly to my car.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the readers that have given my story a chance.**

 **Thank you RitsuAmberEyes for the review you posted, as it motivates me to continue on writing.**

 **This story means a lot to me and I'll try to make it as close to reality as possible.**

Tears were falling fast from my eyes, the more I think about the confession the more I panic. I hiccupped.

 _Shit. If she sees me like this, if anyone sees me like this. Fuck. No._

"Stop crying" I squeezed my eyes shut and let my hands stay where they are covering my eyes and nose. I felt my snot running from my nose; this was going out of control fast. I let my hands fall to the steering wheel and searched for tissue papers in the car. It was dark inside the car so I had to open my dashboard light.

When I found a tissue role inside the car's dashboard, I tore a handful of it quickly and blow my nose to it. I tore another handful to dry my eyes of excess tear, but it wasn't working. The tears just kept on rolling.

"Stop, damn it" I placed my hands on my face again while leaning my head toward the steering wheel.

"Stop.." I grimaced

A few minutes later

"Get it together Ritsu" I told myself.

 _Deep breaths... Deep breaths_

Once I felt that I could hold myself together, I checked my reflection on the car's mirror. Damn, were my eyes puffy and red from crying. I looked through the car's dashboard compartment again and found what I was looking for.

My glasses, black framed. I usually wore it when I'm at class but in casual days like this I took it off.

I wore my glasses and checked the mirror again. At least the puffiness was less visible with my glasses on. I checked my phone and saw the text from Mio.

 _"_ _This is what the girls want_

 _3x 1L Water_

 _2x Instant noodles_

 _1x Icecream_

 _1x Melon pan"_

" _You're not getting anything?"_ I texted Mio back.

" _No haha. I'm okay"_ She replied directly.

 _"_ _That's a first XP LOL"_ I joked.

 _"_ _T_T you are dead. Come back ASAP, it's dark out there so drive save."_

 _"_ _Yes, oh dangerous queen"_ I frowned when I had to remind myself to delete the "my" to "dangerous queen" part.

I grabbed my wallet and exit the car. Locking it before I enter the convenient store.

"Welcome" I heard the store attendee said and I smiled to him in return.

I found all the necessary items and headed to the cashier. On the way there I stopped at a row of sweets; my hand automatically reached out to the ever-colorful skittles.

 _Mio likes this. I should buy some for her._

I put 2 sachets of skittles to the shopping back and continue my way to the counter. While waiting for the attendee to scan the bar code, my eyes couldn't help but look at the cigarette section placed behind the attendee. It was tempting; I want to smoke just to clear of my head off.

 _But.. no. Don't smoke okay? for her sake and for mine._

The memory flooded my head. It was the first year of university and I saw a lot of people smoking in campus. So one time when I had a bad break up, I was tempted to try it out. The feeling of smoking was liberating for me, as if my problems were blown away just like the smoke that I exhaled. Relaxing. I didn't smoke often just when I felt really down under the weather, which I rarely felt. So I thought it was okay to smoke as long as I don't get addicted to it.

But on one particular day when she found out a box of cigarette that I left inside my school bag, she questioned me. I had to tell her and she understood; she didn't judge me and I love her for that. She just suggested I stop doing it, no coarse action or getting mad at me. So I listened to her, I always do.

"600 Yen miss" the attendee broke my train of thoughts.

I gave him a 1000yen note and went my way to the car with the items I bought.

The drive back to the house was unbearable. There was a continuous jarring pain thumping in my chest area and I felt totally restless. This sucks, my feelings sucked hard!

A brief memory of the confession flashed in my head. I immediately hit my hand hard to the steering wheel in anger? in frustration? Maybe it was my way of easing myself; I don't know...

"A pain in the ass" I grimaced.

Now I'm parked outside of Mugi's house, and I am too afraid to enter the house cause I don't know how to face Mio.

"Argh" I winced. I'm confused to how I'm going to approach this situation. Should I just waltz to the rest of the guys and be happy go lucky? No.. I think I might cry immediately when I see her face. I rubbed my temples with my right hand. I held my phone with my left hand and scrolled to find Mugi's contact number.

The white message screen appeared and I typed

"Mugi I need your help. Where's Mio right now?"

"She's watching a movie with the rest? Where are you?" Mugi replied after a minute.

"I'm right outside the house. But I'm afraid of going in."

"Did you and Mio have a fight? She looked under the weather for some reason."

"Not a fight... I told her... you know Mugi?"

"Oh.. just come in and we'll talk in the living room okay? They are in the theatre.. Upstairs"

 _Upstairs..._

"Okay" I exhaled and got out of my car.

When I entered the house with the groceries, Mugi unexpectedly gave me a big warm hug. The thought was appreciated well and I smiled at her. She took hold of the groceries and store the ice cream in the freezer and the rest on the kitchen counter.

"Sit there, Ritsu" Mugi gestured to the sofa living room. I nodded and sat on the charcoal grey couch. A yellow-orange light that was gloomy but calming illuminated the room. The wooden floor was nice and cool and in front of me was a huge TV set completed with surround sounds. I rested my head so that my vision was facing the top wall and dazed off.

 _Mio what are you thinking right now?_

I heard Mugi approached me and I shifted my attention to her. She handed me a glass of water, which I drank slowly then placed it on the coffee table.

"Thanks Mugi" I said weakly.

"No problem" She sat next to me, waiting and watching my every movement. She understood that I need some time to arrange my words, to really organize my mind.

"Yeah I told her." I finally spoke after a 2-minute pause. I didn't dare to look at Mugi cause of the possibility that I might cry in front of her. Instead I hunched over and placed my left hand under my chin. Mugi waited for me patiently as I marveled through my bangs, a habit I had when I am nervous or in a predicament.

I exhaled loudly to clear my voice. "I was stupid...I got into the moment and told her how I feel. It was selfish and shortsighted of me to say that... I... I thought it was okay that I was ready to face the consequences, but really... I am not. I've jeopardize our friendship..." my voice cracked as I felt tears welling up in both of my eyes. I stopped talking and looked to the ceiling blinking my tears away.

"I don't want our friendship to change. We've built it to a level to a depth! where we could trust our lives to the other. She.. me.. we were supposed to be our safe haven to the other, and I...I had to ruin that... " I continued between pauses where my tears threatened to fall.

"I regretted saying it. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from confessing." I finished. Mugi patted my back gently a few times before I held out my left hand to stop her from doing so. She retracted her hand and clasped it.

I grinned at her so that she wouldn't take the rejection to heart.

Patting me in the back would only make me more emotional, and therefore breaking my façade that I'm trying so damn hard to maintain.

"Sorry Mugi, I just need a moment to calm myself down."

"I understand" she smiled back emphatically.

"Should I change rooms with you tonight?" I asked when I realized I'd be sleeping with Mio throughout our stay here.

"It depends on you. But I think you need to really talk to her and clear anything off before it's too late. Plus, she might take it hard if you just left her hanging." Mugi suggested in her pleasant tone.

"I'm afraid" I clasped my hand in a praying position.

"I know, I would be as well in your position. But just remind yourself that speaking up, bracing yourself to talk her might save your friendship. You two aren't mind readers, so you guys need to communicate to understand each other." Mugi held my hand and smiled friendly.

 _Talk to her.. It's difficult but it has to be done?_

It took me a few moments before I found my resolution. I looked at Mugi.

"Okay. I'll try" I said to her.

"Good Ricchan. I'll tell the others to come down and eat." Mugi squeezed my hand.

"Wait" I held Mugi's hand so she doen't walk away.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Do I look like a mess?" I grinned at her as I took of my glasses for her to see.

"Yes, let's get you clean up first then" She held my hand and gave a sweet chuckle. She guided me to her room where she told me to wash my face and put some refreshing eye-drops before putting my glasses back on.

 _Thank you Mugi._


	3. Chapter 3

**I cannot express how elated I am to seeing all those amazing reviews. Haru21, GoldenWolf, and RitsuAmberEyes.** **It gives that push you know?Thank you again to all the readers for giving my story a chance. Furthermore, I realised that I have a lot of grammatical errors in my previous chapters, and I apologise for that. I may edit it, may not. Let's just let it be for a moment. I'll try and update the story as fast as I can. Enjoy chapter 3 y'all. :)**

I dotted from the living room to the toilet every once in a while. I wanted to check on my reflection and to practice smiling and talking to her. Now, I was sitting down in the closed toilet bowl, arms crossed and waiting for the girls to come down. My right leg kept on bouncing due the sheer paranoia that I'm feeling right now.

 _Yea...I was a wreck_. It's kind of sad when I realized that I locked myself in here cause I was too nervous.

"Azunyan!" I heard the faint sound of Yui's distinct high-pitched voice from the other end of the door and I froze on my seat.

 _Oh God, she's coming down._

"Yui senpai stop, you're crushing me" my kouhai retorted. Then I heard seats, maybe from the dining table, being shifted.

I stood up from my seat and looked at the mirror again, arms leaning to the sink. I looked at my reflection, there was a distress look; one that is similar to a cornered animal.

 _Wooorf woorf. I'm losing my mind._ I grinned maniacally; maybe I am a cornered animal.

Then my body tensed. My heartbeat drastically increased and I was sweating, a lot.

"Mio, we have carbonara and bolognaise, which one do you prefer?" I heard Mugi said.

"Carbonara's fine Mugi. Thanks"

 _She's here!_ I screamed mentally. I gripped my hair in a panic and paced around the toilet.

 _What do I do, what do I do. Sob sob*._ I paced some more then stop.

"Ritsu.. Fuck you" I slapped myself in the face. Now I was just behind the door, arms extending to the doorknob.

 _Open it! Open it! Yasss... you can do it!_ I mentally argue with myself. I breathed short breaths then I open the toilet door in one big swoop. The cool air blew to my face and I was on edge.

 _No backing away, no running. Remember! Your cool you can do it._

I walked down the hallway in big strides, poker facing, and acting like I'm totally A-Okay. The dining table illuminated a pleasant yellowish glow. The smell of spaghetti was in the air complementary of my own cooking with Mugi's help of course.

There they are gathering in the kitchen and dining section. Yui and Azusa was playing UNO while Mugi and Mio was in the kitchen preparing for the food. My heart swelled up suddenly. It was a warm throbbing pain. I realized I was frowning, even tearing up a bit and I sucked it up and put a smile on my face. I glanced over to Mio. She had change to casual wear, short cappuccino pants and a white t-shirt, and she seemed to be helping Mugi out.

 _Mio sucked at cooking_ I let a chuckle out. I don't know where that thought came from but it made me genuinely smile, toned down my anxiety.

 _Great._ I took more confident steps to the wooden rectangular table and end up sitting beside Azusa. Bored, I tapped against the table, playing a few up beat rhythms. Yui sat opposite of Azusa and was looking intensively at her cards, tongue sticking out, thinking hard which card she should play. I smirked and shifted my attention to Azusa's card.

"My oh my Nakano you have so much red cards" I peeked at her cards and grinned at her.

"Ritsu-senpai!" she said exasperatedly, pulling her cards closely to her body to shield my vision.

"Yes, hehe. Thanks a lot captain" Yui grinned and placed a yellow card in the center of the table dramatically.

"Mohh, you two are just urghhhh!" Azusa pouted as she drew numerous cards from the drawing pile. I and Yui laughed at Azusa's funny reaction.

Then I saw Mio at the end of my vision, strolling her way to the fridge, where she pulled out the water bottles I had bought recently. She poured the water to each of our 5 cups and began taking 2 cups at each hand. She looked like she had a hard time carrying all the cups. So I approached her.

 _Be casual. Be casual. Be cool._

"Hey Mio, give some to me." I offered my assistance 'casually'. She glanced at me for a bit and then looked away directly. She's avoiding eye contact; I scratched the back of my head. She was nervous.

 _I am too._ I gulped.

"Oh okay thanks" She offered a smile and placed two of the glasses back at the kitchen counter. I noticed she passed me swiftly and went to the dining table to place the cups. I took the other 3 cups on both of my hands and placed it on the brown table as well. Then took my seat beside Azusa, opposite of Mio. Those two, Yui and Azusa were still playing Uno, being oblivious or maybe faking obliviousness cause the suffocating tension was pretty apparent right now.

I gulped hard and crossed my arms avoiding looking anywhere in front of me. Maybe there were a few quick glances directed to Mio. But that was just to check how she was doing. I saw her looking at the pairs playing Uno, her face leaning on one hand. Her expression was familiar ...

 _She's thinking of something_

Open up a conversation Ritsu, the silence was nerve-racking. I gripped my forearms harder and shifted my sitting, accidentally touching Mio's leg. She noticed the slight touch cause she looked at me alerted maybe caused of surprise.

Her mouth was in a tight line.

"Sorry" I said really fast. I look at her eyes and she looked away. So I looked away as well.

 _ARGHHH..._ I can feel my face heating up, ears ringing.

"It's okay" she replied curtly and pulled out her phone. She checked the time and open 'line', curtly replying to her friends.

 _So awkward!_ I screamed inwardly.

"Urm, I'll go check on Mugi" She suddenly said, bringing herself up. Then out of nowhere I reacted.

"Wait!" I propped myself up in just a blink, causing a friction of the chair and the floor that ended in a high screech. Mio paused as well as Yui and Azusa.

 _Smooth, OMG_ I face palmed inwardly. Mio stared at me, waiting for me as I requested.

"Sorry, I'll help Mugi instead kay? You just sit there" I said nervously and walk briskly to the kitchen. I saw Mio sat back down and I breathed out. Now..

 _Mugi Mugi Mugi Mugi Mugi Mugi_ My thoughts were continuously looping for Mugi.

 _I need her help!_ I wiped the sweat accumulating on my temple.

When I saw the blond girl, calmly plating the dishes, I immediately half jog to her. Stopping just behind her.

"Mugi..." I faked sniffles behind her and lean my head on her back while holding her shoulders.

"Oo.! Ricchan" she said in surprise when see just noticed me behind her.

"I could've drop the plates!" She hit me in the arm lightly and clasped her hands to her chest easing her mild heartattack.

"Mugi what should I do. It's so awkward over there. I want to crawl under a rock." I whined quietly, holding her shoulders and rocking her back and forth.

"Ricchan..." I heard her say my name but I continued rocking her back and forth. Then suddenly I felt Mugi put her hands over my cheeks, cupping it hard.

"Stop Ricchan. Pull yourself together" I saw her eyebrows knit together, determined. Then I stopped, afraid. Mugi can be frightening sometimes.

"I'm stopping. I'm stopping" I pulled my hands from her shoulders.

"Now breathe." I breathed, puffing my chest out. She pulled her arms away and tidied her strands of hair with her fingers. Once I felt my anxiety died down, I gave Mugi a thumb up, signaling her that I've calmed down.

"Now tell me, what happened" she leaned back over the kitchen counter.

"She's avoiding eye contact with me, and it feels so awkward. It feels weird. I don't know what to talk to her about; just looking her face makes me remember about the confession." I said slowly pushing my bangs away from my face while leaning myself on the sink.

I stole a glance at Mio at that exact moment, and our eyes met for a brief second. Then I averted it. I held Mugi's hand and pulled her to a more secluded corner of the kitchen where the rest couldn't see us talking. Mugi just followed me. I sat down on the floor, both hands holding my face.

"I hate this. I hate this tension..." I grimaced. Then, I felt Mugi place her hand on my hair, petting it lightly. I perked up to see her crouched in front of me on her beautiful white summer dress.

"Be patient. Remember she's feeling the same thing as you are okay? Nervous and she doesn't know how to approach this. She also doesn't like this. So you Ritsu, being who you are, you need to lead okay? You need to make her comfortable and I know you can do an awfully good job of it." She smiled at me and waited for me.

"I know you can do it. Be her rock okay? If you don't have anything to say to her, then don't. Just let it flow naturally.." I eyed Mugi hearing every word intently, only distracted for a second over her unique eyebrows.

"It's hard Mugi. The feeling you know... it's like clawing back every time I see her, reminding me that I couldn't reach her even if I tried my best. And it's distracting me in accomplishing my objective. To repair our friendship." I said frowning, I felt a tear from my left eye dropping. I wiped it instantly and sniffled.

"It's hard but it's not impossible Ricchan. Take things slowly, guide her. Just be the Ritsu she loves" Mugi patted my hair again.

 _Be the Ritsu she loves._ It made my heart warm with comfort. It took moment but I smiled to Mugi, and I felt more at ease.

"Yeah.. Yeah! I'll be the Ritsu she loves. For her sake. Right Mugi?" I nodded and asked for affirmation from Mugi.

"Yes, there we go. Do it for her, for the both of you." she smiled at me and stood up.

"Damn is it going to be hard" I stood up as well and stretched. Then I pulled my bang back with my right arm and laughed a bit.

"Need a hug?" Mugi extended her arm motherly.

"Yeah" I took her offer and fall to her arms. I hugged her up to the point of lifting her up a few feet of the ground and just enjoying her comfort. Then I slowly put her down and smiled widely at her.

"Come on let's go, food's going cold" she walked to the kitchen counter and I followed her.

"Here" she handed me a plate of bolognaise and carbonara.

 _One for me and one more Mio_

 _"_ Give it to her with your amazing smile okay? You can do it Ritsu, I'll back you up okay? I'm here if you need company. Now go" Mugi made a peace sign and smiled. Then she lifted the three plates in a silver tray.

I walked towards the dining table and then stopped on my way. I turned to look at Mugi. I smiled to her.

"Hey Mugi" I called her out. She looked at my direction.

"You are the best." I watch her smile and grinned genuinely.

 _She's great._

Now I shifted my attention to my best friend, my crush. I exhaled then I paced to her direction.

"Here you go, queeny. An offering from a humble servant." I placed the Carbonara in front of her and gave her grin.

"Thanks you o loyal subject." She chuckled a bit and then smiled. It was like a role-play that we did often and that I highly cherished. I was glad that she replied me with that usual sassiness. Then she took her fork and ate quietly.

 _It's good seeing her smile._ I saw her shoulders relaxed a fraction.

"You know, carbonara goes to your weight right?" I blurted out jokingly, expecting a reaction from her. She stopped eating and glared at me. A pause as if she's thinking of a way to reply.

"Well, this is my vacation I can't eat whatever I want." She dismissed me wittily.

"Sure you can, I just hope it wasn't like last summer." I teased back. She paused for a second before realizing what I meant.

"Ssshhhh! Ritsu I told you to keep it a secret." She laughed in distressed.

"What is it Ricchan?" Yui asked curiously. Azusa was still eating her spaghetti but I think she was listening in the conversation.

"She ate a lot and then..." I continued my story.

"Ritsu! I'm warning you. I'll tell them about last thanksgiving if you told them that." Mio cut me before I can spill the beans.

 _Ah, NOOO... the alcohol party, not my greatest moments._ I stopped midsentence and laughed at her.

"C'mon Ricchan what happened?" Yui asked again energetically.

"Sorry private, my lips are sealed. Queeny's order." I held up my hand in defeat. Mio looked at me for a while and I smiled to her, she smiled back. Then she went back to eating her meal.

"You know.." I started talking and looked at Mio, and she glanced at me back.

"Remember the time we went to that mountain thing." I reminiscence.

"Yea I remember. That statue." I saw her smile and let out a few chuckles.

"Yup that's it... It was hilarious.." I continued on and the conversation didn't died down even after the meal was over. We and the other girls played a few games of cards and watch some chick flicks up until 2 AM.

 _It's fun._ I glanced at the red-brownish haired girl beside me smiling and laughing. I can't help but smile as well and I looked at Mugi and smiled thankfully at her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all of you who've been waiting for the story patiently. I apologize for the delay, I've been busy for this past few week with school. Peace Out and thank you for all the wonderful reviews. XD**

 **Ritsuambereyes I think I wrote the last 3 chapters so fast caused I was on a role you know? Now that I'm nearing exam week I think I may update longer.**

* * *

"You're taking a shower at this hour?" Mio asked me as she watched me take my clothes from my black shiny luggage. The clock's arrow showed 2.30 am. I turned to look at Mio who was sitting on the edge of the king-sized bed.

"Yeah. I haven't showered since 3. Unless you're okay with sleeping next to a stinkhole." I snickered to Mio who was already getting ready to bed.

"Go shower" She glared at me and pointed to the bathroom entrance. I laughed at her and made my way to the bathroom.

"Don't miss me too much" I said before closing the bathroom door. I could only hear a muffled reply behind the door.

As expected, the bathroom was luxurious, thanks to Mugi. The flooring was brown granite and the lighting, in contrast with the glaring light from the bedroom, was a relaxing yellow glow. There was a bathtub, shower corner, a sink with all the toiletries, and an automated toto toilet. I opened the glass shower door and turned the shower on, turning the shower handle towards the red label.

 _Good, there's hot water. Perfect for thinking and chilling.._

I took my clothes off leaving them strewn all over the floor. Then I entered the shower room. I adjusted the temperature to warm and soak myself. I closed my eyes for a while and suddenly one memory flashed in my mind. I hit the shower wall immediately, fast.. but not too hard as to hurt myself.

 _Fuck, that damn confession. Stupid. Stupid._ I placed both of my hands on the granite wall I'm facing.

 _Stop don't think about it._ I balled my hands tightly and grimaced. The water flowed from the top of my head to my face. I exhaled loudly with my mouth. Then I stood there for a couple of minutes feeling the water prickling my skin. My heart ached; I pressed my right hand to my chest but the feeling wouldn't go away. I felt tears falling from my from eyes as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

 _I love her. I want to be with her. But I can't… This love is pointless but I can't help myself from falling for her. How can I not? she's wonderful, she's diehard beauty, she's nice and understanding and we just clicked._

I sat down on the small plastic shower chair and lean my back to the cold wall. I looked up, closing my eyes, so that the water could wash away the tears.

 _Mio… I wanted to talk to her so much, but this feeling complicates things._ I exhaled and I pulled my wet hair back.

 _I wish.. I was hoping that you might feel the same way. Even right now I am still sadly hoping... But... I know it's wrong, my feelings and all. It's like I want her to have the same feeling as I do? but in the same way I don't want her to fall to my path. What am I ranting…_ I sighed pushing all my wistful thoughts to the back my mind. I took the white shampoo bottle and administered shampoo to my hair. Then i washed my body with a lavender soap bar. About 10 minutes later, I exited the shower room, towelling myself dry.

I dressed myself lazily after I put on some moisturizing agent to my body and face. Then I finished off with brushing my teeth. I got out of the bathroom, towel placed on my shoulders, to see Mio under the white blanket. She was looking at her phone intensively while plugging her ears with white earphones. I brushed her off and headed to my luggage to put my stuff. Once I finished, I went my way to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it while aimlessly browsing in my phone.

"Hey Ritsu, you know that Fall out boys is coming to Tokyo?" Mio suddenly asked.

"When?" I asked as I shifted my position to look at her. I saw her swiping her phone before answering.

"This June"

"It will still be our summer break. You wanna see their concert together?" I asked

"Sure" She smiled a bit then yawned.

"Sleepy already? you suck Mio" I smiled at her jokingly.

"Oh shut it. Yesterday I slept for 3 hours" She brushed the tears accumulating in her left eye.

"Who's fault is that again?" I stood up from the bed.

"I was motivated in making new lyrics!" She retorted.

"Yea. Yea." I headed my way to the light switch and closed the main lights off.

"Don't turn everything off" She reminded me with distressed tone.

"I know" I smiled at her, leaving the small light in the corner of the bedroom on.

 _We've known each other for so long, how can I forget?_ The bitter-sweet thought clouded my mind. I returned to the bed and pulled the bed cover before laying myself on the bed.

I looked up at the ceiling and I felt Mio shifted beside me.

"Well, goodnight." I heard Mio said. I glanced at her and saw her back was facing towards me.

 _Mio.._ I felt a knot in my heart.

"Goodnight" I replied not long after and shifted my body so that I was staring to the other end of the wall, back to back with Mio.

 _It's awkward sleeping like this. I wanted to talk to her so that we could resolve this together. Hrm, maybe next morning?_ I sighed and then closed myself.

For about 15 minutes, I had tried to sleep. But I couldn't. My chest area was achingly distracting and my mind was running wild about "What ifs" moment in the future.

 _This sucked… I wondered if she's asleep already. She's always been a quiet sleeper so I couldn't tell. Mio.. I stared into space and daydreamed for a while of the days in Sakuragao._

~Flashback~

"How the hell did I ended up being Juliet!? I'd rather be Romeo!" I flailed my arms in the air.

"Just take my part then. I don't want to be the lead role; I can't act. Mugi help.." Mio massaged her temples.

"You two were nominated by the class. I think you guys would be the perfect cast anyway." Mugi cheerfully smiled.

"Make me Romeo Mugi, you know I don't do all those flirty feminine things; she's the one's who good at that." I pointed at Mio

"What does that suppose to mean?"Mio glared at me but I just brushed her off.

"What was the logic for putting me as Juliet anyway?" I asked Mugi exasperatedly

"Cause you are shorter than me" I heard Mio said quietly.

"Damn it! I'll grow some day!" I dramatically crouched to the school's wooden floor.

"Mah. Mah you two. You were cast cause everyone thought you guys suited the roles of the main actors. Mio with that cool, mysterious side of her and Ritsu with her sincere and heart warming persona" Mugi explained while handing out the script to the both of us.

"Hah! that means she's just an ice queen!" Not long before I accept the script, I felt a hit to the back of my head. It was Mio with the rolled up script in her hand.

"I'm just joking" I laughed at Mio while rubbing the back of my head.

2 weeks later

We were at my house practicing the lovey-dovey scene and we both had a hard time being serious, I mean in character for some reason.

"Again from the top" Mio said after she finished laughing from the previous act.

"Romeo, Romeo, my how your boobs are so big" I joked

"Ritsuu!" She sat down on the floor half laughing half frowning.

"Okay. Okay. I'll be serious this time." I cleared my voice.

"Romeo, Romeo, where'd ought thou my … fuck I can't do this. This is just not me." I dramatically throw the paper to the floor and collapse beside Mio.

"I know right?" She sighed and drank the bottle of ice tea we bought in the convenience store.

"Let's play a game instead." I proposed as I crossed my leg while laying my back on the floor.

"No, we need to concentrate. The rest are expecting us to do a practice play next monday." She reminded me.

"OMG! Burden!" I led out a complain and she laughed at me. I started laughing as well. We stayed quiet for a while, resting ourselves after a 30 minute attempt to practice. I looked at Mio and saw her thinking.

"Got any ideas to improve our acting?" I asked her.

"I have one. But I'm not sure it'll work" she replied cupping her chin with her left hand.

"Let's just try it?"

"Alright… How about we switch roles."

"Hrm. Interesting. Okay, let's go" I stood up and stretch my back and she followed.

"Okay from the balcony scene?" She asked as she positioned herself in front of me. 1 meter of a distance away.

"Okay, wait let me get in the mood." I readied myself and went into character. The protagonist, charming and confident, my forte. I snickered.

"Okay let's go"

"Romeo, romeo where are thou my romeo?" She clasped her hands and act as though she's searching for someone.

"I am here. O Juliet."

"Romeo?" She walked towards me.

"Yes, it is I" I continued as I extended my hand to her. She accepted my hands and stood before me.

"I've longed to see you again O my Romeo" She reached out to my face and clasp my right cheek softly. I blushed as I was taken aback by her sincere acting.

 _She's super good at this._ I paused for a while then looked at her eyes. I was dazed and I felt stupid.

 _What's my next line again? Ermm._ It took me a second before continuing the scene.

"Oh, how I missed you too. My Juliet." I closed in and I touched her hand that was on my cheek. Looking at her eyes intently. I felt ensnared somehow and my heart was uncharacteristically beating faster.

 _What is this? What the hell? Am I turned on caused of Mio?_

"Now that's a scene" She broke contact and I freed myself from my train of thought. I watched her return to her usual behaviour.

"Yeah.. hehe" I scratched the back of head, laughing nervously.

"Why? what's wrong with you?" She asked me curiously.

"Nothing, man.. I'm thirsty" I made an excuse. I sat to behind my coffee table and drank the bottle of ice tea, thinking.

 _Oh my God. She's making me feel weird._ I concluded.

~End of Flashback~

I tossed and turned for nearly an hour, but I still couldn't sleep. I shifted my body to face Mio, and then I was taken aback to see her staring back at me as well.

"I'm sorry did I wake you up?" I said quietly.

"No … I can't sleep"

I paused before talking "Why can't you sleep? What's on your mind?" There was a long pause and I became restless.

 _Is she afraid of me?_

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" I blurted out

"It's not that..." She shifted her body so she was watching the ceiling. I heard her sigh.

"Then, what are you thinking?" I waited for her to reply

"I don't know…. I just feel that we aren't what we used to be? you know?"

"Oh.. I'm sorry for you know... earlier.." I felt a kick to my heart. There was another long pause. I played with my fingers for while, distracting myself. I heard her breathe out.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Yeah.. it's better if we talk rather than being this awkward, right?" She put one of her arms on top of her forehead.

"Yeah, that's true" I buried my face to the pillow. I sighed.

"I want us to stay friends, but my feelings… it just sucked. I can't control it. It just happens you know? " I gripped my pillow in a tight hold.

"Urghh … I'm sorry this is all my fault." I said in exasperation.

"No, _I am_ sorry."

"Why are you apologizing to me? you are not wrong at all."

"I'm just… I'm just sorry cause I can't return your feelings."

 _It fucking hurts._

I heard her say it for real this time and the knot in my heart was pulsating unbearably. A tear dropped down to my pillow but I didn't dare to let her see my face.

"I cherished you a lot and I hope we can go back like we used to be."

I let out a hiccup. Feeling embarrassed, I lowered the volume of my cries. I tried my best to hide away my tears from her.

 _And i cherish you too, so so much._ I let myself calm down, taking deep breaths before speaking.

"Alright..." i said weakly and then nodded.

 _Alright for her. For Mio. For the sake of us. Even though it'll be a bitch to me, but it's for the best._

"Ahhh…" I let out a breath and resoluting my will.

"Please I just want you to know that I can surely move on. But.. I don't know when and it may take a while.. but trust me that I'll be back like what I used to be" I willed myself to look at her and I saw her eyes water.

"Why are you crying as well? I'm supposed to be the one that's sad." I forced a snicker.

"Because I'm hurting you, idiot" She let her tear fall to the side of her face. I couldn't hold myself anymore and dropped my facade when I looked at her breaking down.

"Goddamit." I sobbed. I put both of my hands to cover my face.

"I'm so sorry for being like this" I managed to say between breaths.

"Stop saying sorry" She replied back as she hugged me.

We ended up crying together.

That night, I felt my heart shattered to pieces and I couldn't do anything about it. But as long as she's still by my side I think I can manage, or so I thought?


	5. Chapter 5

I changed the POV, do you guys prefer this POV or from Ritsu's perspective?

Sorry for the late update and enjoy this new chapter. :)

Chapter 5

She was walking along the pathway to her university. One hand was carrying her language textbook and the other was holding her long time crush's hand. The both laughed and smiled happily as the other students go about their business.

The scene shifted and the two girls were inside a classroom. The light that illuminated the room was an orange and yellow hue. Mio slowly made her way to her, gazing lovingly all the while. She reached out to Mio and brazed herself for a kiss. She felt soft lips tentatively touched hers. It was a breathtaking experience that sent her heart rate off the chart. The ghostly pecks turned into more confident kisses. She placed her hands on Mio's hips and pressed her body closer to the tawny haired girl. Mio complied and soon they escalated into a full blown make out session. It was just a blurry mess of hormones, but she treasured it every little bit.

The sound of the seagulls woke her up. Ritsu opened her eyes to see her best friend sleeping next to her, face just a few inches away from hers. She blushed and distanced herself slowly from the sleeping figure.

Ritsu picked her phone up from the bedside stand and checked for the time. The digital clock showed 8am. The group was going to meet at 10am to make their way to the water sports session that they booked earlier that week.

She groaned and sat up, rubbing the sleepiness away from her eyes. The brunette looked to her left and felt all kinds of emotions building up on her chest. Mio had a serene expression and she was truly beautiful even as she sleeps. As she direct her attention to Mio's lips, she remembered the lingering sensation of kissing her friend in her dream.

She pressed her lips together and recollect her thoughts on the dream. It was a bitter sweet feeling and she sighed.

She cupped her face with both hands before giving a quick slap to both of her cheeks. The sting on her cheeks did a good job on helping her recollect herself. She carefully got out from the bed and then made her way to the bathroom to wash herself.

"Hey Mio, come on wake up" Ritsu commanded while putting her swimwear and toiletries into her backpack.

"5 more minutes .." The figure shifted under the blanket.

"I already gave you 15 minutes" Ritsu stopped what she was doing and walked towards the bedside. Then she pulled the blanket out from Mio's face.

"Please" Mio begged with a raspy voice.

Ritsu was tempted to just oblige what Mio asked for at that moment with how 'moe' she looked.

"No, you know you've been eager to try out the parasailing thing. If you keep sleeping, we'll miss the boat ride to the island" Ritsu sat beside Mio who was still keeping her eyes close.

Ritsu thought Mio went back to sleeping due to the absence of a reply but then she felt the sudden shift of the bed.

"I know, I'm awake" the red-haired pried her eyes open for the first time and sat up.

"Finally, go pack up your stuff after you finish showering kay? I'll wait downstairs" Ritsu chuckled in satisfaction.

"O...kay" Mio yawned as she stretched her arms above her head. Ritsu felt the sudden urge to grab the girl into her arms but she shoved that feeling behind and swallowed the sting that formed around her chest.

"Good girl" Ritsu patted Mio's head curtly， not wanting to give the wrong impression. But the gesture did made the tawny haired girl feel a little better.

Ritsu drove her group to the designated pick up point. They were supposed to board the ship to the island that Mugi stated had a lot of tourist attractions, including water sports activities.

At a certain point of time, Ritsu slowed the car down to a parking area. The airhead of the group perked up in excitement when she spotted something on the horizon, earning the attention of the rest of the group.

"Look Azunyan, a speedboat!" The chocolate haired guitarist pointed out to the sea.

"It's so flashy, how did we even manage to rent this boat?" The youngest of the group directed her question to her seniors.

"Let's give all our thanks to Ms. Kotobuki here" Ritsu answered and directed a big grin to the blonde heiress.

"Thank you Mugi sama" Yui made a salut to the girl who sat beside her

"Mugi senpai sorry for all the trouble" Azusa silently bowed to Mugi to express her gratitude.

"Guys, you don't really have to do that. Let's just have some fun!" Mugi asserted.

"But we are all very grateful for you, Mugi. I think without your help, our summer vacation would haven't

been this great" Mio smiled to Mugi.

"It's not a problem guys, I'm just happy that the five of us can have yet another memorable vacation together" the blonde smiled to all her friends.

There was a quick jolt from the car parking at a spot between a red sedan and and silver van. Ritsu pulled the break shaft and stopped the car's engine.

"And, we have arrived guys! Let's go and pack our stuff out!" The drummer unlocked the doors.

One by one the K-on members got out from the black sedan car. Mugi got out first. Her blonde locks that were tied into a braid was blown lightly by the ocean wind. She tidied her flower patterned dress and went to open the car's trunk to take her belongings out.

Yui and Azusa exited the car at the same time. The junior wore a white hat and maroon jacket to cover herself from the sun and took out her black duffle back from the car's compartment.

The guitarist, on the other hand, brushed off all the leftover chips that littered her yellow tank top, and then proceeded to tie her hair up into a small ponytail.

Mio and Ritsu was the last to exit the car. Mio had kept it simple that day and wore a simple blue jacket and white shorts. Ritsu, on the other hand, had chosen to wear a pair of sunglasses, her white polo shirt and cargo pants. The both was still busy locking the desk compartment so that the group's valuables were securely stored inside the car, since they had planned earlier to only bring spare cash to the site.

Once they had made sure everything was where it was supposed to be, the both then picked up their belongings from the trunk and locked the car doors. Ritsu had volunteered herself to carry the ice cooler, which was the heaviest amongst their supplies.

Mugi ran off first to the boat called 'Finland Saga' to talk with the workers there. She identified herself as the Kotobuki heiress to the skipper and thanked them for their service. The rest of the group followed her.

The boat was parked securely beside a wooden dock. And a wooden ladder was placed to bridge in the dock and the boat.

"Watch your steps okay ladies?" The man on the boat gestured them to cross the ladder

"I'll go first!" Yui pipped in followed by a tentative Azusa.

"Watch your footing senpai, the boat is pretty wobbly" Azusa directed to Ritsu concerned of how the drummer is carrying the heavy ice cooler.

"It'll be okay" Ritsu grinned at Azusa and crossed the ladder swiftly. The man on the boat gestured Ritsu to pass the ice cooler to him and Ritsu complied gratefully.

"Mugi here" Ritsu extended her arm to the blonde and the girl with the flowered dress grabbed it to steady her steps.

"Thanks Ricchan" she said as she stepped to the boat and went inside the cabin.

Now it was Mio's turn to cross. She looked a bit hesitant and Ritsu knew that her friend just needed a little reassurance.

"Cmon, grab my hand I swear I won't drop you" The golden eyed girl again extended her hand.

"You better not, or I swear I'm gonna kill you" Mio took one step while grabbing hold of Ritsu's forearm. When the bassist was about to cross halfway, the ladder rocked a little too much making Mio loose her balance.

"Rit..Ritsu!" Mio grabbed hold of Ritsu's forearm forcefully and instinctively pulled Ritsu towards her to steady herself. If Ritsu had also loose her balance on the action, the both might as well have fallen off to the boat. But thankfully, Ritsu did not budge from her footing, and instead pulled Mio quickly to her side.

"Mio you almost killed the both of us!" Ritsu sighed in relieve.

"I didn't mean to, I thought I was a goner as well" the bassist held the drummer shoulders tightly after the sudden tension.

"Are the two of you alright?" Mugi chirped and directed a dreamy like state to the two.

Ritsu knew immediately what that familiar expression signified and noticed just then that she was holding Mio's waist securely with her hands. The realisation made the drummer's heart skipped a beat and she knew well that she had to let go of her friend before it lingered too long for the bassist to notice.

"Yea, she just lost her footing a moment ago. Where is Azusa and Yui?" Ritsu changed the topic and glared daggers at Mugi to make a point to stop her from dazing off to her own world.

"They are inside the cabin. You guys can put your bag inside if you want. It would only be a 30 minute ride to Beach city" Mugi gestured to the cabin door while giving Ritsu a sheepish look.

"I'll probably take a few pictures out here first, the view here is just amazing" Mio not noticing the her two friend's interaction glanced at the horizon where the clear sky met the sparkling ocean.

"Okay, I'll just sit around here and look at the fishes I guess. Yow Yui,

they have fishes here!" Ritsu shouted to the airhead.

"Where is it captain?" Yui excitedly came over to Ritsu's side.

"There, just over the seaweed" the golden eyed girl pointed while grabbing Yui's shoulder to direct her to the right spot.

"I see it! They are so tiny and cute!" The airhead smiled in glee.

"Mugi senpai you want some?" Azusa passed a cookie to Mugi to snack on.

"Thanks Azusa" The blonde took the chocolate cookie gratefully.

On the other end of the boat, Mio took a quick portrait of her 4 friends enjoying the scenery and event. She zoomed in to a particular tawny haired girl and smiled in relieve to see that the girl was laughing like her old self after what had happened yesterday.

She was worried about her and she'll do her best to make the both of them as comfortable as they can.

"What are you smiling at, you creep?" The tawny haired girl approached the red head while chuckling in amusement.

"Nothing, the photo just came out great" Mio shifted her camera display to the default setting and looked at her childhood friend who was now taller than her. The bassist eyed her friend for some time.

"What is it?" Ritsu asked in curiosity.

"I always hated when you wear those big old sunglasses" Mio stated out of nowhere.

"Why? I thought it looks cool" Ritsu became a bit self conscious of her appearance and started to scratch the back of her head.

"Well it does look cool..." Mio stepped a bit closer to Ritsu and then proceeded to touch the frame of Ritsu's sunglasses.

"But I.. I'd prefer talking with you when I can see your eyes" Mio smiled as she took the sunglasses off from Ritsu's face revealing brilliant golden orbs.

The gestured made Ritsu fluster like a mad man. Her heart beat was out of control and her face grew hotter as she processed what just happened.

"Aaaa.." Ritsu was unable to reply properly and just accepted the sunglasses that Mio passed to her. Mio just effortlessly transitioned her focus back to her camera leaving behind a flabbergasted Ritsu and hyperventilating Mugi.


End file.
